“But another qualification must be added. The faith exhibited by wise parents of boys is the faith of a farmer, or a sculptor, or anyone else engaged in the work of shaping unfolding possibilities. It is not the faith of someone waiting around for lightning to strike; it is the faith of someone who looks at the present and sees what it will become- through grace and good works…Unbelief squashes; faith teaches. Faith takes a boy aside, and tells him that this part of what he did was good, while that other part of what he did got in the way. ‘And this is how to do it better next time.’” Douglas Wilson Future Men
I love this book and consider it a must read for men.
My 19 year old son Mark recently accompanied me on a trip to Pensacola to help me load and unload our generator at the repair shop. I took Future Men along and had him read the introduction so that we could discuss it afterward. We had a great discussion. I confessed to Mark my partial failure in his early discipline which was evidenced by my over correction of him. I think many times I did not properly distinguish between his sin and his sense of manly adventure. He pointed out some times when I had done a good job too. I was able to clarify what godly discipline should look like in the life of boys. Discipline that corrects sin, but encourages adventure, courage, strength, and etc. is what we are looking for. I’m excited when I think about what a good dad Mark will one day be due to the lessons he is learning from good books like Future Men.
I agree with Wilson that our training of boys and leaders must be with faith. We must see courage, risk taking, assertiveness, and the desire to have fun as valuable traits while correcting sin itself.
Some leaders seem to never have enough faith to allow people a chance to do much of anything unless they are nearly perfect. Faith looks beyond where people are and sees what they can become by God’s grace. When we are gracious with people, sometimes they will let us down. But people are worth our investment and God is big enough to handle people’s blunders. We need to train our sons and train people with the eyes of faith and hope and love.
June 13, 2009 at 7:47 am |
I love the reminder to train with faith. Sometimes we anxious mamas forget about the faith part. I think this exhortation will help us not to discipline with such a critical, sour, negative, exasperated air. I want to encourage my sons’ sense of adventure and masculinity while teaching them to control it and prefer others. Thanks, Dan!